Clinginess

I really do enjoy being a mommy. I love when I go to pick him up from daycare and he sees me a smiles a huge OH I KNOW YOU! smile. I love when he laughs and the way he like to knock down towers. In fact, that towers can stop him from being upset momentarily, because, hey, gotta knock it down.

I don't love nights like tonight, when he woke up at 2 AM (and my wonderful husband got up with him) and then again at 4:15. I tried to soothe him quickly, give him a pacifier (which he rejects more often than not, now) and his afghan. Many times this will work to get him to go back to sleep. But not tonight, and I could tell it wasn't going to work very quickly, because he escalated to full body tension screaming. Even after I picked him up, the whole body was rigid.

I took off his long sleeve outfit, and he was still upset. I changed his diaper. I made him a bottle that he rejected. Nothing worked. And the worst part is that he won't be put down, and it's even unacceptable for me to sit down. I try to soothe him with toys and back rubs, talking gently to him. But if I sit him down, the screaming starts and he reaches for me and grabs at my hair and my chest.

I laid him back in his bed in hopes he'll go back to sleep, and I'm listening to he scream now. It's awful, but I have nothing I can find to calm him, and he often falls asleep after crying a short while. I think he's lacking sleep, and we went away for the weekend so his system is a little messed up.

But I can't tell him that.