Adulthood

All through my life I've been wondering when I would feel like an adult. In high school, when I started earning money and really managing my own time, I thought I was feeling like an adult. In college, when I began managing bills and no one was responsible for my actions but me, I thought I might be starting to feel like an adult.

Through my first apartment, my first real job, buying my own home, getting married, having a child. I still, surprisingly, felt just like me, just like 16 years old, just with a very long 16 years.

Today, I began to realize that the 29 years that I have under my belt are showing. And that perhaps, I've actually learned some things over these past 29 years and I can apply them.

I had a meeting that consisted of me, my boss (D), and my boss' boss (K). K essentially reamed me out for failing to deliver on a project that I was not in charge of, that no one was actually in charge of since they fired the guy in June. K was, in my estimation, rude beyond belief.

And I didn't flinch. In fact, I stood right up to this tirade. I could feel my face burning red, and my hands went dead cold, which I'm guessing was some sort of basal reaction of Send the blood to the brain!

Now, this is fairly impressive because (1) I was raised in the least confrontational manner possible. My mother and I didn't butt heads too much, and when we did, we both ended in tears. And thus (2), when I have been in similar situations before, my emotions wedge up into my eyes, and without control, my eyes leak. It's not quite crying, but it looks like crying. Thank God that didn't happen.

I don't know if my reaction was the best possible, but it feels a lot better than being rode roughshod.