Winter of my Discontent

The transition to winter has always been a rough time for me. I start eating more, going out less, and generally doing less. I neve like the cycle and I can never seem to break it. This winter seems to be starting of even worse than usual with Luke's sleeping issues and my pregnancy tiredness at the forefront. Any semblance of a schedule I try to establish is quickly shot to hell by Tuesday. Here I am now at 12:30, tired, but awake. Dammit.

I'm frustrated because Luke and I haven't gone anywhere this week to develop his active little mind, and yet, the laundry's not done, the house isn't clean, I've only cooked one meal, and I haven't even worked out for ten minutes. I certainly haven't put any real effort into home projects either. What the hell am I doing staying home and not working if I'm not accomplishing any of the goals that I had when I left work?

And yet, the idea of heading to a job I hated every morning at 6:30 is simply an awful thought and I know I'd be in the midst of a crying jag at this time of night about how much it sucked sucked sucked rather than just awake and peevish.