It's been a rough year or so on my father's side of the family. In a little over a year, three of my uncles have passed away. Two were my father's brother, one his sister's husband. I'm not very close to my father's side of the family - my mother wasn't close to them, so when my father died (I was 11) we stopped having regular contact with them. We see them at weddings and funerals. That's pretty much how it still is except for a couple connections with cousins here and there.
So losing these uncles doesn't have a tremendous impact on my life (which is horrible to say, but true) except for the fact that these are my uncles, and their existence is simply taken for granted. They are out there, with my aunts, doing their thing.
The first uncle that passed away was cremated and there was simply a memorial lunch. No body to view, but a gathering to commemorate him.
The second uncle had nothing. No memorial that I know of (or I missed it) and no wake.
The third is having the standard wake and funeral. And I going (at least to the wake).
I don't mind wakes and funerals - and I've been to a lot. They bring closure for me, a chance to say goodbye and give some hugs. Shed some tears for a person and acknowledge their life. It's family, it's community, it's saying this person mattered. I still feel there are loose ends with the second uncle - he's somehow still out there, though he's not.
Of course, I don't mind cemeteries either (well, in daytime). The stones a physical reminder of a life, and particularly my 'family' cemetery, where a dozen plus relatives are within 50 feet of each other. So I'm off for a wake in a few days, to say goodbye to the man who looked incredibly like my father, though was nothing like him in personality.
