One More Mommy

Thoughts of a mom and her husband, son, daughter, pets, friends, job (or lack thereof), house, family, trying to be more ecologically aware...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Command of English

I buy things off Craigslist at times - toys and clothes for the kids - and the typical gaffes annoy me. THE TYPING IN ALL CAPS. Not listing a location. Overppricing. And of course, spelling and grammar. I do like to give a spelling a grammar pass to those who have English as a second language, but there is a lot of horrific typing out there. And when I *think* I'm dealing with a foreign-born person and show up to buy something and their speech reveals them to be clearly American-born, it's always a shock. How can they communicate THAT poorly?

But this one, HAS TO be foreign born just because of the correct grasp of SOME of the English spelling tricks...


Wednesday, August 27, 2008


It's the only video available on YouTube. I don't know this guy. But I sure as hell know that 'poetry'.

Two and A Half Hours

Does not want to try dinner.
Does not want to take a bath with sister.
Does not want to brush teeth if toothpaste was put on the toothbrush by someone else.
Does not want sister to be OUT of the bath, as he had not yet gotten IN.
Plays with toys in his room and the hall for half an hour, happily.
Eats watermelon - three slices - for dinner.
Does not want to change into PJs.
Kicks mother.
Sent directly to bed, BEFORE SISTER!
Loses a bedtime book.
Still crying about that book.
Hiccup crying.
Throwing self on bed.
Light turned off and mother exits.
Comes out begging to brush teeth.
Request denied.
Further screaming.
Hiccough crying.
Wants water.
Mother lays with him to calm him.
Accuse mother "You NEVER come when I ask!"
Mother brings water.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


The scene:

Mother and son sitting at the table with an array of paint pots, paint brushes, paint in trays, paper, and a wooden craft dinosaur. The boy wears a blue smock to "protect" his clothes. A stack of used, paint filled baby wipes sits in one corner of the table.


The boy picks up a small paint brush, sweetly calling it 'the tiniest brush in the world', and the mother begins to contradict him but thinks the wiser as truly, it is the tiniest paint brush in HIS world.

He dips his tiny paint brush in the black paint and gives the wooden dinosaur an eye, which ends up taking over most of his head. The boy exclaims "He's got lots of eyes." Again, the mother thinks to correct him but refrains and simply says "hmmm" in an approving way.

He paints the body of the dinosaur black and then dips his still black soaked brush into the blue paint with a quick follow into the green paint.

"What do blue and green make?" he asks as he aims his paintbrush at the dinosaur. "Black!" he exclaims as the residual black on the brush overtakes the colors. "No, no, honey..." the mother explains...

Repeat for red and yellow, red and blue, green and blue (again). Each time with returns to the black paint the boy creates BLACK rather than the actual mixing of the colors.

The mother's brain starts smoking as she attempts to prove to her child that mixing colors does NOT in fact always create black. The boy disagrees, as his experiments have clearly proven that when mixed, colors create black.

The woman begins waving her hands about talking about corrupted experiments, isolating variables, and generally poor use of the scientific technique.

The boy states he is done with the dinosaur craft. It is all black.

End scene.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Facebook... All the Kids are Doing It

I joined Facebook recently, or months ago, I really don't know. It's all recent to me. I had tried Myspace last year, but the whole thing burned my retinas and made me cry - people had pages set up so freaking music started blaring out at me immediately, the 'skins' and the scrolling... I'm particular about how my pages read and I should never had to scroll left-right to see anything. Only up-down.

So, Facebook! I jumped on and found a few people from high school - two, I think. These were people I actually spoke with on a regular basis in jr high or high school. So I have some memories of them. Now through them I've been found by other high school people. Who I have virtually NO memories of - good or bad. I guess it's nice to connect? But I don't... have anything... to connect you with... sorry.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Eight Hours in the City

Crap, we have gone to Chicago more this year than in the last three years combined! Esposo competed in the Accenture triathlon with his brother and sister, and my MIL and I schlepped my nephew (8), niece (6), Luke, and Courtney in the see them race. You know, for the five seconds you see them run by at the end. But the kids were ridiculously excited! And then we spent some time wandering around watching other racers, seeing Buckingham fountain and going out to lunch while Luke (again) tried to physically meld himself to him 8 yr old cousin. Who, as it happens, is a perfectly normal eight year old boy. And perfectly normal eight year old boys are not always the best influences on their three year old cousins as they wander off, punch their shadows, ask incessant questions, and operate in general all around conceit. Please proceed to blame all of Luke's bad behavior on his cousin. Even if it's been around since well before he saw his cousin. I LIKE MY CONVENIENT SCAPEGOATS.

Monday, August 18, 2008

People in My Neighborhood

For the vast majority of the time - and I do mean VAST majority, no one in my neighborhood bothers me. Sure, the people across the street with their dead dead dead tree that they haven't cut down are causing some visual twitching but that's OKAY. Really. siiiiiiigh.

But lately, there have been some new people in the mix. The first is the most annoying, as he walks by every day with his small yappy dog. Small yappy dog is uncontrolled on leash and runs into our yard, yapping. Snow, being a dog, hears yappy, and either starts barking at it, or if it's outside, barking and flipping out a bit more. Snow does not particularly like other dogs. She would prefer everyone just keep on moving. But not only is Yappy jumping, barking, and running at our fence (set well back from the sidewalk), Yappy's owner likes to then STOP and let Yappy run about making Snow flip out further.


The second was a one time incident and she freaked me out right good. Last week sometime, the kids and cat went out back to play, and I popped in to grab a pump for the constantly deflating play balls. Give me time gone at 10 seconds - ON THE HIGH END. I walked back outside to find a woman with a German shephard on leash staring over my fence.

My fence, that is, as I just said, set well back from the sidewalk. So, she's in my yard. WELL in my yard.

"I was just looking at your cat!" She said. "He's big!" Er, yes, he is. Please go now.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

Wrap it Up

Okay, I'm pretty well done with summer. Not that we did a tremendous amount of summery things, but we've swum, we've boated, we grilled and even ate otuside a few times (giving the neighbors an unwelcome glimpse into This American Life With A Preschooler and A Toddler). I'm good, bring on the fall and the holidays and such. I don't know what crafts and activities to do with the kids anymore, I would like some clearly defined Seasonal Activities. Pumpkin carving, turkey eating, present opening and the like.

Also, I would like preschool to start. Now. I knew August was going to be a giant PITA, what with the no PDO once a week, but holy crap I am exhausted and pretty much tired of my kids around me all the time. COME UP WITH YOUR OWN AMUSEMENTS. That are not destructive, messy, loud, smelly, sticky, hairy, ET-CET-ERA. Learn how to read already, GAWD, you're THREE AND A HALF.

Also, I've decided that we should attend church more just for the stories. We scuttled our butts out the door at 7:45 to make it to the 8 AM service, during which Luke admonished Esposo for not rising fast "Stand Up, Daddy!" and also proclaimed with a laugh (remember Luke's big fake sounding laugh? Yeah, that one.) "You can't drink your BODY!" Hey, at least he's paying attention.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Stress Be Gone

Just looking at these pictures makes me happier.

Two Weeks, Four Days

The countdown to the start of Three Year Old preschool has begun - or as Luke prefers to call it "Three and a Half Preschool". What would he say if he knew they let in mere THREE year olds!??!

We received a packet from the school asking us about our kids and their home lives, which I filled out and brought in late (good impression maker = me). It asked us what we hoped the kids would get out of preschool - I dunno, how about BEING AWAY FROM ME FOR AWHILE?

We received another letter from the teachers, clearly meant to be read to the kids, about how much fun they would have in preschool. This was accompanied by a letter for the parents, warning us not to tell the kids that they would be scared or cry when they went to preschool.

Seriously, what kind of fricking moron of a parent does this? "You'll probably cry your eyes out when Mommy LEAVES you ALL ALONE in the STRANGE ROOM with a lot of MEAN KIDS and BROKEN TOYS. And when you CRY, the teacher will BEAT YOU!"

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Not Speaking the Same Language

The dynamics of two children is a wonderful thing, even if there is screaming about her taking a puzzle piece or him ripping a toy out of her hands, even if heads bonk and we have to learn NOT TO WRESTLE WITH A ONE YEAR OLD. I love love love having two children and could not vaguely imagine only one. Which is really good, because dude, am totally stuck with two kids, there's no return policy.

Courtney seems a bit slower to talk than Luke, but is much more frequent about generally babbling nonsensical phrases. Well, maybe they mean something to her, but to the rest of us, it's just "Aahbadadeeeeeee!!" This is very reflective of personality, because Luke talked more when he could actually say words, there wasn't much babbling, and he has only started drawing a bit more because he can make the pictures look like something. Courtney is content to scribble a mess and then hand it to me as art.

We've been checking out Spanish DVDs for Luke to watch (and Courtney, as she passes in and out of the TV area, she is not nearly as enthralled with television - GOD these KIDS and their DISTINCT PERSONALITIES!) so he's starting to pick up a bit and ask what this is in Spanish, or that, or tell me that he has a primo, Brendan.

They sat in the desk chair this morning, happily together side by side, and Courtney said "Aah ba bee doooooo!!"

Luke looked at her quizzically and asked me "What did she say in baby Spanish?"

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Very Good Day

I was going to call this "A Pretty Good Day", but when I thought about it, I had to reassess. Really, if every day was like this my house would be more organized, my errands would be done, and I would weigh 25 pounds less.

We managed to make it to the gym, where I ran 2.25 miles, and the kids played with friends in the child center. Then we went out to the pool (at the gym) and played, following that with lunch and light bulb purchases at IKEA. (Note: two light bulbs, specially made for IKEA, cost more than the sconce from IKEA. I smell racket.) We headed home, where Courtney napped and Luke and I cleaned house, watched TV, and played War (the card game). Guess who did what on the cleaning/watching part!

Insanely, we headed to the grocery store at 5 PM, with Luke going potty before we left - AND HE POOPED ON THE POTTY!! Shopping took until 6:30 PM and was by far the most stressful part of our day. But I managed to save 39% on the grocery bill and get almost all of what I needed. And they gave me a free Starbucks coupon! Yay! Coffee I NEVER pay for, for FREE!

Home again, eating dinner (all three of us staaarving) and the kids are watching a Spanish video and goofing off in the basement before bedtime. The dog did throw up, but she did so on the kitchen floor, not carpet, and all I could say was "Thank you, Snow."

A very good day, really.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Debates I Don't Have (Yet)

Luke does not color a thousand pictures for me, nor glue mosaics or create clay masterpieces. I usually moan and sigh over this a bit because three and a half year olds are -supposed- to create art. I always thought that silly dancing and coloring would be easy ways to keep my child entertained.

There is a definite upside to my oh-so-right-brained kid, though. I have no box of important art that I need to save. Every art project I've seen him do has been haphazard at best and he's displayed no joy in the finished product. He may like DOING the project, but hanging it up? Deliberately saving and displaying it? Entirely unnescessary, no matter if I exclaim over it or not.

He did attend a Parent's Day Out (PDO) program and I thought he would create art in there that would need to be displayed. They did do weekly crafts, but each craft was so clearly assisted by a teacher that there was no point in saving it - he just played with the masks or puppets until they ripped and they got tossed.

With preschool two days a week (starting three very long weeks from now) I expect there will be more art starting, and perhaps some pride in it.

The Art Institute is definitely not on our list of museums to visit, where is the Math Institute?

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Get out the scissors

There's a large-ish trend towards letting little boys hair grow long(er) these days. Isabel's Babboo has longer hair, and Noah just got his hair chopped. In "real" life, I have a friend with two little boys with longer hair, and we met one boy in our gymnastic class that we actually thought was a girl due to his below shoulder length mass of curls.

Generally, I don't care what you do to your kids head. I don't even care what my kids will want to do to their heads (on this point, Esposo and I disagree. I say, if they're good kids and they want a mohawk or purple hair, fine. He thinks they will become 'burnouts' or some such thing). But pay attention when you're growing a preschoolers hair long. There's a point you may need to cut it.

We headed to the library and were sitting at the puzzle table when a child about Luke's age with shoulder length blonde hair came up and sat by us to do puzzles. I didn't much notice, and nor did Luke, because he's an antisocial little jerk when it comes to meeting new kids.

First thing out of the kid's mouth? "I'm a boy."

Cut that child's hair - he has to CLARIFY HIS GENDER before he says his name! That's just wrong.

Friday, August 01, 2008


I am trying to figure out what classes and sports Luke and Courtney should take this fall, and the options are about making my head explode. I'm not at all an 'overscheduling' mama, or a 'Type A', competitive mama, but I can see how easy people could get sucked into that attitude. There are SO many options, and some of them sound so good and so fun. I would love to take gymnastics myself!

Ooh, and this exploration class about a different topic each week! One week is dinosaurs! Luke would love that.

And the foreign language classes - I wish I had started a foreign language when I was young, it would be awesome to be fluent.

Same thing with sports! Maybe I could have gotten a college scholarship if I had played one sport all the way through! Maybe I'd be THIN now! What should Luke play that will insure him health, happiness, and save us thousands of dollars of college tuition??

And so I have to remind myself to PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE, he's THREE. (and a half). The language classes are prohibitively expensive ($1300 for 90 minutes one day a week from Sept-May. We're already paying about that for preschool!) so instead, I went to the library and picked up a 'Spanish for Kids' DVD. I started talking to Luke about saying colors in Spanish and he eagerly jumped into question mode - "How do you say cat in spanish?" "How do you say people in Spanish?" "How do you say baby in Spanish?"

Did I mention I took German?

I told him I didn't know the answers to his questions and that the show would tell him how to say things in Spanish.

Naturally, he refused to watch it.

He also expressed a great deal of interest in playing basketball. DADDY IS 5'7", KID. THERE ARE NO SCHOLARSHIPS FOR YOU.