Afternoon

I'm trying to get control of my snacking and eating so that I can actually lose weight. I know my triggers are stress and boredom on eating, but now I'm dealing with those triggers in a whole new form.

It's name is Lucas.

Yesterday was a long afternoon, after a long day, and Luke screamed and whined and threw himself bodily against his door for about an hour. During which I think I ate four granola bars and several handfuls of chocolate chips. I had a game plan for when I was bored at work and eating, but now what can I do? I'm stressed and I can't take a walk, can't leave the house, can't start a different project because there is a screaming child who is directly my responsibility.

T minus six days to Parents Day Out.

Luke's Morning

Appointments

With Esposo off for a week, and only having, you know, Thanksgiving to deal with in that week, Monday (yesterday) was a day o' appointments. First there was the dentist, who has a nice TV in his procedure room but sadly, no cable, so I watched Oprah (I am not an Oprah watching kind of woman) and then he drilled out pretty much my entire tooth in prep for an onlay. Actually, he drilled out my fillings from that tooth, not any tooth.

Then there was Courtney's third (THIRD!) appointment with a doctor about removing her little dermoid cyst. I hope he didn't mind that I didn't pay all that much attention to him because I think I have all the info I need, now can you take it off before the end of the year, please?

And finally, Snow had her first training session (just at PetSmart) and it was taught by a nineteen year old who used the phrase "like totally whatever" in absolute seriousness. Fortunately I didn't have high expectations for the class, I just wanted Snow out and about and meeting other dogs. There are only two other dogs in the class, a large, rangy 1 year old German Shepherd (Buster), and a hyper beagle/sharpei mix with an obvious nutsack (Wrigley) - both male. They played despite a big size difference, and Buster didn't even mind when Wrigley began eagerly humping his face.

Snow tried to sneak over to both dogs occasionally and ended up snapping at them both. Which is one of the problems I hope that this class helps with, her nervousness and fear around new dogs.

When we got home she race up to the office to lay down because OHMYGOD THAT WAS EXHAUSTING, which is another benefit I wanted to get out of the class - if she gets more stimulation I expect her to be happier and less needy in general.

Today our appointment is only with the DirectTV installer, which makes me happy. Especially since I don't have to take dog or child anywhere and there are no drills involved. At least not drills used on me.

One Project Becomes Ten

We've been living in this house for just over three years now, and we haven't gotten nearly as much done and I had thought we would. Some of that is budgetary and some of it is child-tary. They tend to suck away the time you have for projects.

But Esposo has this week off, so it was going to be dedicated to the basement! Onward, ho-ward, get that basement done! But then he has to call a guy about the HVAC, and you know, we really need to upgrade the insulation in the attic, especially with gas prices rising, so let's do that quick project.

But if we blow in all this insulation in the attic, we won't be able to access the ceilings as well to install lighting in the center of each bedroom, so let's do that project.

And you know, those stupid styrofoam fake beams in the dining room really need to come down just because they are DAMN ugly. It has nothing to do with the basement OR the attic, but I got tired of looking at them and needed my own project. (I don't 'do' electricity)

So today Esposo installed a light in the office and a ceiling fan/light in Luke's room. Esposo has a thing about lighting, in that he wants it to be as bright as the sun at all times. I prefer to operate mostly with one dim bulb in the corner, so our lack of lighting never bothered me. It really got to Esposo when we had people over for Courtney's baptism and there was no! overhead! light! in the dining room. Like we're all so pretty that we need to see each other that clearly?

Now that Luke's room has a light on the ceiling, I could remove the floor lamp, which I was worried about from the toppling over on the toddler perspective. We can put it in the dining room so there will be three lights in there, and Esposo can blind me.

We haven't done a darn thing on the basement yet.

Milestones

I signed Luke up for a Parents Day Out program yesterday - he will go to a classroom alone for four hours one day each week, and I will have four hours with just Courtney and me. I am very excited about this. Luke is excited about going to 'school'. And yet, I still had anxious dreams last night about trusting him to the school (who at least three other people I know also use, so there is no reason not to trust it!). And Luke went to daycare for the first year and a half, so you think I'd remember dropping him off and it being okay. But it's still new and still scary.

Courtney surprised us last night by deliberately placeing her blocks into the holes on the IncrediBlock. It was such a struggle for her, as she was laying on her belly and reaching up holding these blocks that are almost too big for her hands. But she kept doing it. Screw infancy, this is where the fun begins.

Also - remember that the solutions that are best are simplest. After a week of nose wiping, Courtney's face and nose were quite chapped. I put vaseline on her a couple times yesterday and her face is back to being soft and cute!

I finally lined up a decent survey for $ - usually I get quickie $10 deals - and they had overbooked. Don't worry, though, that meant I still got my money WITHOUT DOING THE SURVEY!

Melting Pot

I grew up in the western suburbs in the late 80's and early 90's. There were a number of asian kids, some Indian kids, and one black kid in my high school class. His name was Chip. You might saw we lacked diversity.

When we moved into our house, which is in kind of the same type of area (except NORTH), I expected that same thing. Though we're in a predominantly Jewish area now. I've met more Jewish people since moving here than I had met in my entire life (and yes, we had at least two Jewish kids in my high school class. They dated.) Our school district even has the Jewish holidays off.

I was surprised (and pleased), though, to see a few black children walking home from school. A woman down the street is from Bulgaria. I just met a neighbor who is married to a Guatamalen (she did Peace Corps work there, hello, makes me feel like a slacker!).

People talk about staying in the city because of the cultural value of it, but there are certain parts of the city that are just as cultural isolated as the suburb I grew up in. I really didn't expect to find this diversity here, and it just makes me like this place yet a little more.

If You Don't 'Get'

'The Office', we probably could never be friends. I don't actually laugh out loud too much (which I consider to be kind of a crappy thing, but what can I do? It has to hit me right, or I have to be drunk.) so The Office's dry dry dry humor is me all over.

Been There

There seems to be a number of mothers of toddlers who get embarrassed when their children act up. I read about them. I'm not one of them most of the time, because what the hell, I gave up most of my control awhile ago. As long as I'm actually paying attention and parenting my child, I figure I'm okay and the judgemental people can go to hell.

I also figure that most people aren't judging me, especially if they're parents, because they know that the pint sized people are evil little shits sometimes. But I still feel awkward when someone near me is dealing with a screaming, flailing toddler doing something inappropriate. I want to give a little support to let them know that they're not alone and not being judged, but it's kind of hard to do that, since they're dealing with a screaming, flailing toddler. Sometimes I try to make a light comment, or if I can help by picking something up or opening a door I'll do that.

Maybe I'll get business cards made up that say "My toddler a rotten little brat sometimes, too. I feel your pain!"

I'd probably get DCFS called on me if I handed those out.

30 Days to FIX MY LIFE

I'm a sucker for the articles that tease me with the promise to fix all my problems, and I just jumped on the 30 Days to a Perfectly Clean House with Discreetly Hidden Toys (But Not So Hidden That They Inhibit the Child's Creative Flow) and Animals That Don't Destroy My Carpet and Bathrooms That Clean Themselves Self Challenge.

I join these things convinced that somewhere in there there will be the perfect nugget of wisdom that will prevent the giant pile o' crap from accumulating next to my phone, and get the bathroom floor to look clean. Because really, if I could solve those two problems, I'd be pretty damn happy. What the hell do you DO with all the coupons and membership reminders and paper STUFF? And the floors? Why do they NEVER look clean, even just after I clean them? It makes me throw up my hands and not clean them, because it is Unsatisfactory. When I clean the kitchen counters, the end result makes me happy. The floors piss me off.

And the toys? There is NO GOOD TOY STORAGE SOLUTION. If someone tries to sell you one, they are lying. Especially since with toddlers, if they can't SEE the toy, they will not PLAY with the toy. And then you need to remember to drag the toy out for them from it's awkward hiding place (the basement).

Crap, I just remembered there was water in the basement to deal with...

You Hide

We don't have lives at all anymore. Esposo realized at about noon on Friday that it was, in fact, Friday, and asked if I wanted to go out and do something. Like, with people? We had no babysitting lined up and my voice was gone - we stayed in and caught up on TV we had DVR'd that week. Saturday night, after kid wrangling (me), yard raking/mowing (him), cleaning (me), shopping (Luke, him), we ended up exhausted in front of the TV again.

Thank God I like my husband.

For an hour or so, though, we all played - Luke, Courtney, Esposo and I. We played hide and seek. Hide and seek with a 2 and 2/3 year old is pretty simple, because the directions are clear.

"Mommy, you count and Daddy and I will hide."

"Mommy, we will hide in my bed and Daddy will count."

"Daddy, you come find me!"

He runs off, giggling hysterically, and we pretend not to hear and see him under his covers. I would like to wrap the giggling in a big box and give it for Christmas presents. I am greedy and want Courtney to get to the giggling and silly stage so there can be more.

One of my friends said she thought people in our generation were selfish because we were waiting to have children until we traveled or got another degree or didn't feel like going out until 3 AM on Saturday night. Children would put such a kink in our lifestyles.

Don't tell them about the giggling!

Golden Days

I've been getting a lot of comments lately in regards to 'enjoy them while they're young'. All mothers of young children get this comment at one time or another, and I'm sure that I will make it to some other mothers later. Because this is really one brief moment in my life - even if we have one more child, we have maybe eight years of true toddler innocence - I'm assuming it ends around 4.

I was wondering why we were attracting all this doting attention when it dawned on me that Luke has been screaming and running from me less. He sat in the cart at the store today, and except for 3-5 minutes of complaining/screaming, he was content. When he's not screaming, we're able to be silly together, which means more laughing, and I think we can all agree that a little kid's laugh is THE ABSOLUTE BEST SOUND in the world. You have to smile when you hear a baby or little kid laugh.

So yes, I am enjoying them, thanks.

Home Delivery

We went up to the lake house this past weekend, no grandmas or aunt or uncles or cousins, just the four of us. We got up late Friday night, as usual, and both the kids slept awful. We usually sleep everyone in one room (including the dog) and this meant that when Courtney cried it interrupted Luke's sleep, so he woke up half an hour later. Friday night was loooong.

Luke has been developing and becoming a more reasoned being lately, and it's been a fabulous development. We visited Esposo's grandfather, who's ninety-ish and is senile (or has Alzheimers... I'm not sure.) and really doesn't remember us much. But he loves to see Courtney, so we go and talk. This is a hard trip for Luke because there's nothing to do. But he handled it well, and then we went out to lunch.

Like, ate at a table and sat there while the waitress brought us food. We can take Luke out to eat and it's not akin to driving a fork deep deep into your eyeball because you're desperately trying to make him 1) not run around the restaurant and 2) not scream. We've gone out to eat three times in the past two weeks. C-RAZY!!!

Luke napped on the way home, and then there was Saturday evening.

Saturday evening Luke delivered the best. mood. ever. He was happy, giggly, amusing himself or bringing us into the game. We actually couldn't resist playing with him because he was SO happy and giggly. It lasted for hours. We kept him up a little later than usual because he was so much fun. We have requested for this mood to be delivered at home as well.

Methodius

My father has five siblings, and he is the fifth. They arrived girl-girl-girl, boy-boy-boy. The first boy is named Vladimir, after their father. The third boy is named Methodius, after their grandfather. My father is named John.

He dodged a naming bullet there.

I didn't know my Uncle Joe was actually Methodius until five-six years ago. I thought it was funny as hell. I still do, and I think if I were saddled with some ridiculous Czech first name, I'd have to laugh about it, too. I don't know if he found it funny, historical, or merely annoying.

Uncle Joe died yesterday.

I'm not close to any of my father's siblings - since my father died when I was young, we didn't go to those family gatherings. I don't remember any of my uncles ever playing with me. But Uncle Joe was an easy going guy, with a penchant for really lame jokes. He sent me emails on political points every now and then (we agreed on our politics).

Uncle Joe died mostly, I think, because he never had the surgery on his heart the doctors said he needed. They didn't have enough insurance. I haven't seen Sicko, but maybe I don't need to. Maybe I already got the point.

Ship him out

Luke's birthday is at an inconvenient time for me, because it means we have to wait until he's 3 AND A HALF to be in a preschool program. Children born during the summer months are just three when they start, and if Luke were able to start school in 3.5 months, I would feel a lot better about our unstructured time now.

It's not that I want to send Luke to school five days a week, or even three. Or even for a very long time. I just want him to go to preschool two days a week for two and a half hours. That would be five hours of me NOT amusing him.

Remember, he doesn't nap.

There are people I know who have napping children who still have babysitters and do parents day out programs (where you drop your kid off one day a week at a church for four hours or so) and have child care at their gyms... so they have time without at least one of their children.

Luke is relentless. He's always there, always busy, and becoming addicted to television because I am not enough to amuse an almost three year old for 12-13 hours a day. Good grief, someone take him for awhile.

Halloween - Done

Halloween was really fun this year, with dressing up for music class, Esposo's work, and actually on Halloween. I've seen the cow and pig enough to last me - which is good, because Luke's about four hours from not being able to fit in the cow costume anymore.

Trick or Treating was real this year, Luke rean from house to house with his friends and dragged his sack of candy along. He fully understood that candy was being handed out and YES PLEASE he would like some!

But it's over now and I am packing. Goodbye pumpkin faces, goodbye witch, cat candles, seven legged spider soap dispenser. Goodbye Batty Bat As Black As Night.

My sister in law decorates for seasons. Not just holidays, SEASONS. Fall, Spring, etc. I decorate for Halloween and Christmas. I think I have a St Patrick's Day plate bought on clearance, too. Screw all the other holidays, it just all becomes clutter. So I'm so happy to be packing!!