So Tired!

Lucas is not a good sleeper. We've been letting him cry it out for about two months now, and this has been working for us, as he doesn't cry long, but he always cries.

My mom claimed that she could rock him to sleep, so I decided to try this more often.

And it works. Sort of.

I closed his bedroom door last night and walked back and forth with him, bouncing and singing. He screamed. He pushed his whole body away from me, writhing and trying to get away from the sleeping.

And slowly, slowly, he gave in, and became heavier and heavier in my arms. He rested his head on my shoulder, only occasionally lifting it to turn and give a half hearted cry. And he dozed and quieted. Success! And it only took about 15 minutes. And I loved the feeling of his solid baby self relaxing into my arms.

And yet, I still had to put him down at some point. Which is where it started again, because once I placed him in his crib, he screamed indignantly.

I think he cried for a shorter time, though, and I'll continue to rock and sing him to sleep while I can. Because I know someday he won't let me, he won't fit in my arms, and he won't even clearly remember the feeling of being wholly held. But I will.