I'm still scared

Part of the reason I'm on the weight loss and fitness quest is because I am thinking about child number 2. The weight loss thing didn't go so well this weekend since I went out drinking Saturday night. It wasn't the drinking that killed me, it was the hangover eating. Deep dish pizza? My hangover LOVES deep dish pizza! But, my weight did not go UP over the weekend, just stayed at that same number. Small favors.

Especially as Luke turns more and more into a toddler, I'm thinking about child number 2. And I think about being pregnant and feeling the baby move, and trying to think of names...

And then I think of giving birth, and you know, it still scares me. C-sections? The idea of being awake while ... well, I can't talk or think about it too much or I start getting a bit panicky. I think I mentioned this to my doctor last time, but I don't think they understand. I am out and out terrified of surgery.

But then, natural birth? Still scary, and I would never do natural-natural! Epidural needle in the back? Still scary, even though I didn't feel it last time. My recovery was quick and pretty painless before and I'm still scared.

The end result pretty well rocks the house, though.