Part Time

Last week was my first official week working part time. Since the plant was closed on Monday and Tuesday, I essentially had Friday off. It didn't *really* feel part time.

But this week I'm *really* part time, because I didn't work on Monday, and I won't be working Friday. I'm still unsure about all this, about money, about career, about choices in life. We got our first bill for Esposo's school loans, and that hit like a ton of bricks. He's calm about it, which I don't understand. Unfortunately, when he acts non-chalant, I see it as not really being on top of what bills need to be paid and exactly what our budget is doing.

Articles and newsreports seem tossed at me, as if they know I'm reading. Women give up their careers and they don't 'get' as far. Women sacrifice for their families. We're not achieving equality, the workplace is still set against working mothers.

In the roundabout way it works, my mind thought of my grandmother, and again I thought how much she would have enjoyed Esposo, and of course, Luke. My grandmother's personality and happiness with her life is a reminder of how I want to live.

I don't know if my grandmother ever held a paying job. Which again drove home the point, that life is about people for me, not achieving a corner office. I have never been able to muster the desire to impress people I didn't personally like, and work has always been just work to me.

I had a fabulous day with Luke on Monday. We hosted a playgroup, and all the kids played beautifully. I weeded and laid sod. We took a long walk to the park. Luke seems to enjoy the time we get to spend together, he didn't throw a tantrum on Monday at all.

But I don't know if we can take a weekend vacation to Boston yet.