Befri and Stends

I'm sure just about every woman who was a girl in the 80's understands that title. Those incredibly popular charms which were designed to be two halves of a heart or circle, with two friends each wearing a half. Together they read Best Friends.

I was the proud owner of two Best Friends charms, one of which slipped off my necklace in a muddy bottomed lake in northwest NJ, never to be seen again. I was heartbroken about losing that charm. I was about ten at the time, and the girl who held the other half was in California. I hadn't seen her since the beginning of first grade, when I was five (almost six), and we had written each other for years proclaiming ourselves to be best friends.

When I think of my childhood from age 5 to 12, there are seven girls who really meant a lot to me. I have no idea how three of them turned out, though I've googled them, their names are too common. One I know became very religious, and her family may have been Mormon. Two of the other three may be reading this blog (Hi Mandy! Hi Beffy!) and the third of those three is living it up in NY, per Mandy. We used to sign our notes 'LYLAS', which Beffy and I changed to 'LYLARSHS' (Love ya Like a Real Sister, Half Sister).

Since then, from age twelve on, to almost twenty nine today, there are five girls I count myself as close to. Seven years, seven girls. Seventeen years, five girls.

And I've just come to the point, after knowing the 'new' girls 17, 7, or 5 years, of beginning to refer to any of them as 'one of my best friends'. None of my relationships measure up to those early friendships. I'm sure I've romanticized those years, but I've only been given one surprise party, and it was at age 11. People I feel the need to call on a regular basis to just talk to number only a handful. I truly miss the passion of those young relationships, and I just don't know how to recapture it.

I no longer have either Befri or Stends charms, I only vaguely remember what they looked like. And I wouldn't have the confidence now to give a Befri charm to anyone and know that they understood what it meant, as I did when I was young.

Edited to add: To those friends with whom I am beginning to apply that 'best' moniker, and others, this is no problem on your part! It's all about me and my inability to really get close to women friends. Just so you know, I really want to be that close, I just don't seem to be able to do it.