And Then Love Smacks You Upside the Head

This morning I am working on a particularly tedious task in a spreadsheet. It requires roughly 0.2% of my brain cells and a lot of mouse/keyboard coordination. This is leaving a lot of open space in my head to fill with random thoughts. I could be using this time to try and come up with present ideas for the nine people left on my Christmas list that I have no ideas for, but that taxes 194% of my brain, and I don't have that much to spare.

Instead, I'm thinking about my plans for the coming week and month, as to what I can attend and what I have to decline. One of those events is a gathering of my college crowd on Sunday. I got an update email earlier telling me that a dozen people were attending. And of course, I got to wondering who those dozen people might be.

My "college crowd" is actually a national organization (no need to publicize it here, I'm enough of a dork without y'all knowing THAT) with groups on 50 or so campuses. My group is obviously all from U of I, but the 'post college' group that is getting together on Sunday could include people from many other branches. The Sunday gathering could include people who graduated 10 years before me and people who graduated last May.

Within the Chicago area, there are 13 people I can think of off the top of my head that I knew well.

Two are ex-boyfriends.

One I haven't spoken to (except in a drunken state, during which I called him a coward) since he emailed, oh yes, EMAILED me a 'Dear Jane' letter while I studied abroad in Germany in the summer of '99. This was an asshole move, no ifs ands or buts. I would say an email breakup is an asshole move if you're dating more than a month, and we had been dating close to two years. But then, I shouldn't have ignored the signs.

Immediately after the email (or possibly before, I was in Germany, how would I know?) he began seeing another girl from the group, whom he later married. And they live somewhat near me, and in fact, I used to pass their house all the time on the way to my mother-in-law's house. She's since moved, thank God.

Now, aside from the whole asshole move of an email break up, there are a few other issues I have with both of these people. To put it succinctly, they are jerks. In general, I don't relish the idea of seeing them, though I am perpetually curious as to what they are doing, mostly because I'm perpetually curious about everyone I've ever known (so if you know me, and read this blog, EMAIL ME! I want to know what you're up to!). I have googled just about everyone in my past, with virtually no success. Dammit.

Anyway, ex=jerk, possibly at 'reunion'.

Rolling along on my train of thought, I'm bringing Luke to the 'reunion' on Sunday. Esposo has some finals to study for and I want to show off my beautiful boy. I planned on leaving Esposo at home. Which means he would not be there for the ex, if the ex was there. Which is VERY upsetting, because I would love Esposo to meet the ex, it would give my stories so much more oomph. I really want to meet HIS ex. But again, I'm like that, insatiably curious.

Where the hell am I going with this?

Oh, right, loving the Esposo. Naturally, an Esposo-ex meeting would call for direct comparison of the two, and so I began doing this in my head. And I just fell in love with Esposo all over again this morning, as I did my mindless work on the spreadsheet. His smile, his sense of humor, the fact that he's obnoxious, but in such a good way. His willingness to try new things and go places and the way he is with Luke. His incredibly plodding, methodical home improvement.

I am incredibly lucky.