Smart ass

I am a smart ass. I'm not the best smart ass, but I'm pretty good, I think. And who do I have to blame for being a smart ass? My mother! Seriously, she presents herself in society as this pleasant, kind, understanding woman and behind it all lurks the heart of a smart ass. It starts at home, you know.

The thing about being a smart ass, is that you can't turn it off. If you can stop yourself from even thinking or muttering the smart ass comments? You aren't a full blooded smart ass. Being a smart ass requires constant vigilance. There are always statements requiring a smart ass remark.

I frequently stop or throw off meetings because I CAN NOT resist the smart ass comment forcing it's way out of my mouth. At best, I can reduce the comment to a smirk, which also attracts attention. It amuses me, what can I say!

Sadly, I seem to be surrounded by Non-Smart-Asses at my present place of Employment. NSA's if you will. NSA's are painful for smart asses because they just don't get it. As a smart ass, what I expect from a smart ass comment I make is a rejoinder. A response, and jab back, if you will. It is the code of the smart ass to one-up in smart assedness. It is what keeps smart ass comments at a higher quality. Sadly, with no smart ass rejoinders, my smart ass skilz are falling.

Won't you help save a smart ass? For just 65 cents a day!

There, I just typed ass or derivatives thereof 21 times.

Happy Holidays!