One More Mommy

Thoughts of a mom and her husband, son, daughter, pets, friends, job (or lack thereof), house, family, trying to be more ecologically aware...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Waitstaff

I expect very little from my waitstaff. Ask my what I want, promptly, bring it to me, promptly, and don't make me hunt you down for the check. General pleasantness is expected, but if you're having a lousy day and still fulfill the ordering/serving portion, I won't be bothered.

Because eating out isn't about the waitstaff. If it is, I'm at Ed Debevic's, and that place is really kind of annoying. I don't like being surly with people I don't know. I'm surly with my family, that's fun enough for me!

M came to take me out to lunch with Luke as I'll be working late and today has not been a great day. It gave me a chance to see him, since we don't see each other on M.Tu.Th, and have 900 other things to do at home. And I got to hang out with my baby boy more! Luke was happy and we were just catching up on our lives as married people who don't see each other often enough are wont to do. A little slowly, neither of us was perky.

Our waitress, Kat, was an out and out lunatic. She began by admiring Luke's blue eyes. Great, lots of people do that! And then she called dibs. On my eight month old son. She said she'd be 72 when he was 21, and would he wait. OHMIGOD EW. EW. Hitting on an eight month old is GROSS even if you think you're being cute.

Follow that with pushing the alcohol. Margarita, sangria, whatever the drinks of the house were. But you know, if we don't want a drink, she'll take one. I ordered water. She asked 'On the rocks or with a twist?' and I said 'On the rocks' with a half smile that clearly said I am not amused get on with it. Then she prompted me to order it with a twist. She prompted me. Fine, I say 'with a twist.' So she does the twist. IT DOESN'T WORK IF YOU PROMPT.

Then she tried to teach Luke to meow because, you know, her name is Kat, and if he meowed, she'd come to visit him. Like hell you will, woman.

She popped up (fightentingly so) again later, asking if I wanted wine. Because if I didn't, she would drink some. She could see in M's eyes that he wanted to know why she was all about the alcohol. WHY DIDN'T YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES, M!?!?! Why? Because she's going to the hospital tomorrow. And you never know what's going to happen. She fished for us to ask what she was going in for, which neither of us cared to do because we wanted to talk TO EACH OTHER and we don't KNOW you.

'I like to say I'm going in for plastic surgery, but they'd have to get me a whole new form!' SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP. We still didn't ask. but really, she's just going there for lunch tomorrow. WE ARE NOT YOUR AUDIENCE. She left, for awhile.

M got a bottle out for Luke, and she popped up again. Oh dear Lord. 'I saw a bottle!' Oh shut up. M fed Luke the bottle in his high chair, and she TOOK IT FROM M, thus feeding Luke, saying 'This is why you hire a server!' Uh, no. I pulled Luke out of his highchair to feed him because I didn't want her to be doing this and I wanted her to GO AWAY.

She hovered around our table, insisting on giving LUKE the bill to attempt to be cute, if he just makes an X she'll collect in 21 years. AGAIN, EW! BABY!

Bad waitress. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

3 Comments:

Blogger Amanda said...

Holy mother of Christ! That waitress sounded like a NIGHTMARE! That would've really p*$$ed me off. I'm very sympathetic to crazy people (maybe too sympathetic), but when it comes to my kid, HANDS OFF.
I hope you gave her a lousy tip.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Cmommy said...

I was cringing as I read! Yikes--she sounds perfect for dinner theatre, but NOT the average restaurant. Did you talk to the manager? (great details, love your writing!) C

9:38 AM  
Blogger Manic Mom said...

I need to know, since I live in the suburbs of Chicago too, what restaurant you were at so I may never, never, nevernevernever EVER go there, EVER! You did a terrific job describing that annoying woman!

8:30 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home