One More Mommy

Thoughts of a mom and her husband, son, daughter, pets, friends, job (or lack thereof), house, family, trying to be more ecologically aware...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Real Mommy

As Luke grows bigger and heads into toddlerhood, I am still coming to grips with being a mommy. It's not about the stuff anymore, I can get him from point A to point B without too much trouble - though it's infinitely more annoying in cold weather to try and get everything in and out of the car without either one of us freezing to death. There are still issues with food to work out, and now we're heading into the biggest issue of all mommyness - the discipline. What surprises me the most is that I am struggling with being a mommy to just one child.

I enjoy Luke every day. He is becoming more and more affectionate and interested in me (and Daddy) as 'others' - people who are not him whom he expects certain things from. As we climbed the stairs yesterday, I kneeled behind him and our faces were side by side looking up the stairs. He leaned over and pressed his cheek to mine with a wild, happy grin. I don't want to rush him through his childhood, but I already feel as if there are unborn children lurking in the corners of my home.

Now that we've started on this journey of parenthood, it seems to me that we should be moving along onto round two. Before my son is even 1!

And yet, I don't want to have my children so close together that I miss special time with them, and their toddlerhood is a blur. And thinking ahead, I don't want to have them all move off to college in rapid succession, ending my parenthood role with one great leap, rather than easing me out of day to day parenting.

I am simultaneously eager to meet my unborn children and eager to spend precious time with Luke alone.

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