30 Days to FIX MY LIFE

I'm a sucker for the articles that tease me with the promise to fix all my problems, and I just jumped on the 30 Days to a Perfectly Clean House with Discreetly Hidden Toys (But Not So Hidden That They Inhibit the Child's Creative Flow) and Animals That Don't Destroy My Carpet and Bathrooms That Clean Themselves Self Challenge.

I join these things convinced that somewhere in there there will be the perfect nugget of wisdom that will prevent the giant pile o' crap from accumulating next to my phone, and get the bathroom floor to look clean. Because really, if I could solve those two problems, I'd be pretty damn happy. What the hell do you DO with all the coupons and membership reminders and paper STUFF? And the floors? Why do they NEVER look clean, even just after I clean them? It makes me throw up my hands and not clean them, because it is Unsatisfactory. When I clean the kitchen counters, the end result makes me happy. The floors piss me off.

And the toys? There is NO GOOD TOY STORAGE SOLUTION. If someone tries to sell you one, they are lying. Especially since with toddlers, if they can't SEE the toy, they will not PLAY with the toy. And then you need to remember to drag the toy out for them from it's awkward hiding place (the basement).

Crap, I just remembered there was water in the basement to deal with...